Another Day

Well, I've decided that I think I might go ahead and try to take the clomid. I haven't heard many people, I know, be successful with it, but I would like to think that I am an exception to the 'norm'. Wouldn't we all.

I've really been doing some thinking and seeking Christian opinion about it and I've come to the conclusion that it is what I like to call an area in the Christian Gray Area. You see, The Bible says nothing about fertility help, other than you aren't to give yoru husband over to another woman to create a child with her that ou will raise. Nowhere in the entire book does it say, "Thou Shalt Not take a drug to help your body do what it is supposed to do naturally, like ovulate, but doesn't do." I figure that if I take the Clomid and God doesn't want us to have a baby, then guess what- WE WON"T. But if we take the Clomid and it is God's time, then God will bless us.

My doctor says that she only does 6 months on the Clomid, and then she refers to someone else who is more specialized. That's not too long is it? Nope, 6 months I can do. So after a year of trying to just take progesterone or maybe only 6 months I"ll have to talk to Nick about it, we will hopefully be trying to get pregnant using a mild fertility drug.

On another side of my life, I am once again filling out job applications. It seems like a yearly thing for me. I HATE IT!!!!!!! I have 13 School District applications printed out on my desk righ now, and through the next three days, I plan to finish them all and send them out. At the same time, I am supposed to be helping full swing with VBS prep work and still maintaining a home for my hubby. He is so supportive and I love him so much. I feel bad for him that I'm so hormonal because of the progesterone I"m taking. He gets the brunt of the emotions.

On yet another side, it has now been two weeks since I watched NIck's uncle take his last breath. I can't say that I have totally recovered from this. In fact I don't think that I"ve fully dealt with all my emotions as a result of that event either. I"m sure that eventually I"ll dedicate an entire blog specifically to that, but for now just now that I am changed by it.

To New Beginnings

Well, it feels as though my life is at a stand still. I'm now done with my service in BSF, atleast for the summer, and I am not working anymore. I'm waiting to hopefully get a fulltime job teaching for the fall. I pray that that will work out. I trust that God is going to provide for Nick and I, but a little reassurance is always handy. I've just begun my provisional year in the Waco Junior League. I'm really excited about that and hope that God will use my service there to glorify Him. I am just about to really kick it into gear with VBS this summer. And I'm trying to plan my husbands 10th HS reunion. All this going on and still I feel like nothing in my life is moving.

Actually I feel like I am at a crosswalk in Vegas- because that is the biggest place I've been to and had no sense of direction in- and all the people that I was traveling with crossed the street while I wasn't looking and I can't see where tey went. All the cars are going by me so fast that I can't tell who is in them, and then the buildings around me start to spin and the entire world feels as if it is turning so fast on its axel.... but I am just standing there confused and motionless. Not knowing where to go next.

I guess, if you are trying to figure out what my blog is going to be about, it will be about the next step, the process one takes when they are tring to find their way again. Trying to stop the spinning and the speeding cars and find the party they were meant to travel with.

Enjoy.