Here we go again!

Well, I just took my first dosage of Clomid since the miscarriage.

My feelings are ALL messed up!  Excited for the prospect of becoming pregnant.  Worried that my body will not keep a pregnancy.  Sad for the lost little one.  weary of trying and of waiting.

I know God is going to give us a child.  He has told me that.  For now, however I need to focus on me.  I have spent so much of my existence these past 8 years being "the girl who can't get pregnant" (maybe they should write a book about it...) that I have just let myself disappear.

Who am I?
What do I like to do?
What music do I like?
Who do I like to spend time with?
What do I like to do?
What do I like to eat?
How do I like to wear my hair?

Do you know that it had been 4 years since I had my hair cut?  4 YEARS!!!!!!  How does a girl go 4 YEARS without at least a trim?  So if you see me doing something you have never seen me doing before, or laughing a little louder than you are used to, it is okay.  I am just trying to find the girl I once was.  The girl who people used to like to be around.   The silly, confident girl who likes to stick her tongue out in pictures... heck the girl who used to get her picture taken and used to take care of herself.

Pray for us as we continue this journey.  Pray for me as I begin to seek the carefree girl I used to be.