What is on my mind.....

So I've signed myself up for A LOT. Here is a list in case you wanted to know. Junior League (provisional year is the most time consuming), I'm helping to get things ready for VBS (this requires me to spend as much time as possible at the church... I put in 3 days a week), I've committed to helping to coordinate the sanctuary for VBS, I'm hoping to get a full time job for the fall, I am still praying I'll get a baby to bless our home, I've volunteered to help with the children's midweek (really I was asked to do it and someone else said I was doing it before I had a chance to say otherwise and now I"m just in it. I don't know when it'll end.) and next week I"m going to watch four kids as a stand in babysitter.... Am I forgetting anything????? Oh yeah, and as of yesterday, I am now on the leadership team for the women's ministries at my church.

How do I get so over extended. I definitely see that one of my spiritual gifts is serving. I love to just do anything, as long as I"m at the church helping someone out. I love doing the menial-don't-have-to-use-your-brain kind of work. Not that the work doesn't matter, because it is huge to someone that I"m willing to do it, and at the church I know it is going to better the Kingdom, but it is literally something an elementary student could do. Now I did have a little trouble yesterday using publisher, but it was more frustrating than difficult.

Anyway, I'm taking this morning off, going to lunch with some friends, and then I'll go to the church. I justify this by the fact that I"m going up to the church on Friday to stuff bulletins for VBS. Also that I am JUST A VOLUNTEER!!!!!! I have the right to do what I want and when I want. My mantra at church is, "I do what I"m told to do."

So now you ask what is on my mind..... Well, I'm feeling a little anxious. I know that I will be able to handle the work load if all comes to fruit, but the problem lies in the fact that I want to be in a Bible study. I want to have fellowship with Godly women. I don't feel like I really get that in Sunday school, even though there are some Godly women there, their meek personalities are far outdone by those who are not blessed with meekness.

I'm crazy. I know that, but shouldn't our desire for more, especially when it comes to wanting more of the Lord. It sounds crazy for the first time to hear myself say I want more of something and it is the Lord, as if He is far away from me. I know He is near, but at the same time I feel about as far away from Him as the Sun is from Planet(?) X, formerly know as Pluto. I need to get back into His word, but the lack of structured study is not helping me do that.

I gotta go. I need to be doing something else right now other than spewing my brains out on Blogger.