People disappoint me

You know how sometimes situations just fall into your lap and you may act without thinking or maybe you act with someone else's best interest in mind- you think you are doing the right thing. Well, this situation recently presented itself, and I allowed it to play out. I was honest with people and helpful and what do I get? I end up losing four friends and all over something I didn't even ask for.

I am very disappointed by this. I have been nothing but a faithful and loving friend to these people and when one thing happens that they don't like they turn on me as if I was never their friend.

I am so tired of fake friends or people who want to be around you only out of convenience. They use you and leave you when they are done with you. I'm done. I'm done trying to be friends with people. I'm done being the one who always goes the extra mile. If you want to be with me, if you think I add value to your life, then you know where to find me.

random thoughts by Hallie

So, I'm home alone tonight. Nick had to go to For Worth and for some reason this has left me in a HUGE funk! Don't get me wrong I have loved being home this week and reminding myself of the fun staying at home can be, but for some reason every interaction I had with people today pretty much ticked me off for one reason or another... and all I want to do is go on a big shopping spree. I even risked going out to do that and only found $30 worth of stuff that I was willing to spend money on.

Gone are the days of feeling better after spending a bunch of money. what a bummer... but not really.

So 2010 has begun and after 2 1/2 months I can't say that it is looking like a great year. It began with a probable adoption, continued with news of the adoption falling through and the wait becoming longer, and has now come to a place where God has closed a door that I wasn't sure I wanted closed. Now I am stuck searching for the window that was opened.

Wish me luck in this search as it may be a difficult search. Well, if you are reading this, I guess I may have either bored you into never reading again or severely depressed you. For those of you who are now in need of a "pick me up"... Remember that even when I am feeling down, my Father in Heaven is here holding me and comforting me, helping me to know that His plan is perfect and Holy. My prayer is that His will will be my will.

Dear Snuggle Butt,

Dear Snuggle Butt,

Our wait for you has been lengthened. We thought we knew who your birth mother was going to be, but unfortunately sh has decided to take a different path. Only God knows when you and I will finally be able to look into each other's eyes and give each other soft kisses. For now, just know that your momma loves you and I can't wait to see you and to buy things for you and to make you feel all of my love.

Love forever,

Momma

Dear Father,

Please do not make the wait too long. I can't wait to hold this precious gift in my arms and raise him or her to love and serve you!

Forever, in Jesus' name,

your Daughter

Update on Adoption Possibilities

Well, after the 4th Nick and I will make an appointment to talk to Generations about proceeding with adoption of a baby. We are still figuring out where the money is going to come from. As far as I can see we are still short about 11,000. Slowly, but surely I'm sure God will provide for this.

The young lady who was introduced to us has decided that she does want to give her baby up for adoption. Last I had heard, she even wants to give her baby to us.

I know Nick feels going through generations is the best way, but I kind of feel like we are going to be paying for more services than we need in this situation. I wish I knew a good adoption lawyer that would be willing to help us.

Oh well. Where He leads I will follow!

To the unborn baby that will one day call me momma...

Dear sweet baby,

One day you will understand the love that is in my heart for you-even if you aren't growing inside my body. The woman who is raising you during the first nine months of your life is such a brave woman. She may not be able to give you the life she would have liked to, but she is giving you an opportunity to be raised by two people who will love you unconditionally until the day we die.

I am so excited that one day I will see your ten fingers and feel them wrapping around my finger and eventually, as you grow, feel them wrapped around my hand. I can't wait to tickle your ten toes and watch as you begin to take those first precious steps and begin walking down the path God has created for you. I imagine staring into your eyes and watching as they sparkle with joy and learning to help calm away the tears and saddness when your heart breaks as mine has until you became a possibility.

So as you grow inside this brave young woman, please always know that I have been waiting for you and looking forward to the day when you will call me momma for as long as I can remember. You are my testiment that God doesn't always answer our prayers in the way we think He will. He answers them in a way that is perfect and gives Him the most glory. It is only through him that you and I are being brought together.

Grow well, my dear precious baby! It won't be long until we meet.

Forever,

Your Momma

Is anyone reading this?

Well, It has been a few years since I've posted anything here. I guess I forgot I even had it. So... is anyone reading this? If not I'll just continue to not write here, but if you are reading this and want an update then let me know and I'll write something of importance.

Waiting to hear

I have been waiting to hear about this job now for over two weeks. I've done my part. I've called and asked for a time frame and all that. I really want to work for this school district and it sounds like a PERFECT job with perfect people to work with.

Now I am just waiting. I pray that they will hire me, but with each passing day I get less and less hopeful about it. I want to work there. I want to teach the students in their community and I'm really excited about the relationship they described the faculty has with each other and the staff as well.

Anyway, if you think of it, throw up an arrow prayer for me and my job situation.

Thanks.

Love in Christ.
Hals